How to Communicate with Someone Living with Dementia

When caring for a loved one with memory loss, one of the greatest challenges you’ll face is communication. As dementia progresses, the ability to connect through language often changes. Speech language pathologist Adria Thompson, M.A., CCC-SLP, reminds us that “communication isn’t just speaking. It’s far more than that.” Even if someone with dementia can still speak clearly, they may still struggle to understand or engage.

Choose Clear, Simple Language

Everyday English is full of idioms and figurative phrases that may seem harmless but can confuse someone with dementia. For instance, instead of asking, “Are you feeling under the weather?” try the direct, “Do you feel sick?” Simple, straightforward language removes barriers and helps the person understand more easily.

Limit Pronouns and Repeat Names

Pronouns like “he” or “she” can be tricky to follow when memory lapses occur. If you’re talking about your friend Linda, don’t just say, “After she left Italy, she went to France.” By reintroducing Linda’s name into the story, you anchor the conversation and make it easier for your loved one to follow along.

Avoid “Elderspeak”

It may feel natural to use a sing-song tone or simplified baby-like language when speaking to someone with dementia, but this approach—called “elderspeak”—often backfires. Research shows it can be harder to understand, feel condescending, and even discourage engagement. Instead, speak with warmth and respect, the same way you would with anyone else.

Ask the Right Kind of Questions

Open-ended questions can be overwhelming. If you ask, “What do you want to eat?” the person may struggle to decide what meal you mean or recall what foods are available. Instead, try simpler yes/no choices, such as, “Would you like spaghetti?” Offering limited options reduces frustration and keeps the conversation moving.

Engage the Senses

Another way to encourage interaction is to focus on the five senses and the environment around you. Point to a painting on the wall, ask what they think about the music playing, or show them a family photo as a starting point. These tangible cues bring the conversation into the present and create opportunities for meaningful exchange.

Invite Their Advice

Everyone wants to feel valued. Thompson recommends asking your loved one’s opinion on something happening in your own life. Their response doesn’t need to be logical or fact-based—what matters is that they feel included. Often, it’s your reaction to their answer that fosters connection and dignity.

Please follow this link to read the full article. Alz-Today-20.1 How to Speak

Contact a certified elder law attorney(*), such as Linda Strohschein and her team at Strohschein Law Group for assistance. To set up an appointment, contact Strohschein Law Group at 630-300-0627.